Tag Archives: struggle

Life with ADHD

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This is one of the most accurate descriptions of life with ADHD that I’ve seen.

Take a look.

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The Never-Ending Cycle

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Image result for house cleaning clip art free

Courtesy of: Clipart Kid

 

 

There are three traps that I often fall into.

  1. I want to find a ‘cure’ to ‘fix’ how I am.
  2. Once I find this cure, no ‘maintenance’ is needed.
  3. Fast = Good

 

But in reality, none of these are true.

There isn’t a cure for how I am, because it isn’t a disease.  It’s simply how I was made.

It’s tempting to look for the one thing that will ‘fix’ all my problems, but I won’t find it.  It won’t just be one thing, because many different factors contribute to them, so obviously the help needs to be multi-faceted as well.

Compare this to owning a home. If you stopped regular maintenance (mowing the lawn, cleaning, repairs) it would become overgrown, messy and costly.  The same is true with my mind.  I need to remember that this maintenance isn’t messing up or failing.  No one expects a house to maintain itself, so why would I expect that from my mind?

I may find mental tools to manage, or new thought patterns, but there is no cure-all magic potion.

There will be ongoing ‘maintenance’ for as long

as I want to be a functional person.

 

I’ve come to notice that my life goes something like this:

Feel bad, regulate, feel better, repeat.

Yes, it’s messy. It can be discouraging.  But it’s all part of a process.

I know that messy, slow processes make people very uncomfortable.  But this is a wrong viewpoint.  Everything comes from a process.  And sometimes this process is a messy, slow one.

Going back to our home comparison, now you are going to declutter. Well, in order to declutter, you need to take everything out of the room and put in somewhere else so you can sort through it.  Temporarily, your house will be messier than before, but in the end, it’ll be cleaner and more organized.

This is how it can be while you are maintaining yourself.  The process of wrestling with anxiety or with learning disabilities, etc., can be a messy process. Wrestling with this issue is uncomfortable for you and for others watching you, but for the moment this is how it needs to be.

Let it be slow.  Let it be messy. It’ll be okay in the end.

 

Maintaining myself emotionally  is a daily choice.

 

Repeat your coping methods as many times as needed, even if it’s always, every minute of every day at times.  But don’t be discouraged, because, you know that a better time will come.  It’s all part of a cycle.

Hello Again

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I haven’t blogged on clamorous mind for more than a year! But I’m back now.

Since I’ve been away, I’ve learned that I am dyscalculic.

Dyscalculia = struggle to learn, confusion.

I struggle to put what’s in my mind into writing. I’m filled with thoughts, feelings, stories, but when I try to convey them on paper or even through words, I flounder.  This is torture.

Daily:  Left brain fights with right brain. No communication between them.  😦 

Like a couple on the brink of divorce, not able to work out their differences. If only they knew how much they need each other.

This leads me to despair at times. I learn with difficultly.  Whether I use my brain for learning or for fun, there is conflict.

I’m going to fight.

I’m going to write.

I’m going to try even through the fog.

I learned something…

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Until recently, panic attacks were a daily part of my life.

They would last for about 40 minutes and were very debilitating.  Often it would get so bad, that I would hyperventilate.  I was so discouraged, and thought that my anxiety would never get better.

Then, in the wee hours, one morning, I found this video.  It changed my life. 

This man’s videos have really helped me with my anxiety attacks.  He taught me that I have more control over my anxiety than I had thought and that it doesn’t have to dominate my life.  My last full-blown attack was nine days ago.  Sometimes, I start to become anxious, but I’ve learned how to prevent a complete attack from happening.

Anxiety is a complicated issue, and it’s different for every person, so I don’t want to make it seem like this video will cure all your anxiety forever, but for me this was a huge help.  It really helped me see some of the things I had been missing.

I hope this gives some encouragement to those struggling with anxiety:-)