Emotions are a part of every day. Many different feelings can go through one’s mind: happiness, anger, fear, worry, angst, disgust, sadness, etc. They can feel overpowering. They can cause restlessness. You may feel such worry about making a decision that you can’t even eat. Or, it takes so much energy to go through your daily tasks because of the thick sadness that you feel. It’s easy to lose perspective. It seems as if you always have, and always will feel the way you do at that moment. But this is not accurate, because, in reality, everything we feel is temporary, whether it’s good or bad.
You can’t control your feelings, but you can control your reaction to them.
My brain only has so much space and energy, so I have to decide which emotions deserve my attention and which ones don’t. I’m not saying this is easy. I’m hypersensitive and I feel everything very strongly, so this doesn’t come naturally to me at all.
Sometimes, I have these mysterious bouts where I struggle to do anything that I wish to do. I aggravate myself. I’ll pick up my hobbies and they make me angry instead of relaxed. Or I’ll try to read a book and it makes no sense. I don’t know why this happens, but it does. When I feel like this, I try to take my focus away from myself, and look at others and do something kind. It restores some of my self-esteem and helps someone I care about. It’s a win-win.
I can make choices that will affect how I feel.
When I’m feeling sad, I can choose to aggravate it by listening to depressive music or I can choose to help my little sister with something.
Now, I’m not suggesting shoving your feelings down and never dealing with them. That is unhealthy in it’s own way. What I’m saying is that you should be the one in control of your feelings, not the other way around.
Regulating your emotions is a life-skill. It’s a struggle and a process that is built slowly from experience. It takes practice to learn how to manage what you’re feeling. Some days I struggle and can’t get my emotions under control. Other days are dark and long. Some days, it’s easier. It’s all part of the process. This is life for me. I have to roll with this without becoming angry, anxious or despairing.
I can choose to let the flames die…or to feed them.
The choice really is mine.
And it’s your choice too.