Tag Archives: sadness

Feelings Lie. Don’t follow them.

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Emotions are a part of every day.  Many different feelings can go through one’s mind: happiness, anger, fear, worry, angst, disgust, sadness, etc.  They can feel overpowering. They can cause restlessness. You may feel such worry about making a decision that you can’t even eat. Or, it takes so much energy to go through your daily tasks because of the thick sadness that you feel.  It’s easy to lose perspective.  It seems as if you always have, and always will feel the way you do at that moment. But this is not accurate, because, in reality, everything we feel is temporary, whether it’s good or bad.

 

You can’t control your feelings, but you can control your reaction to them.

 

My brain only has so much space and energy, so I have to decide which emotions deserve my attention and which ones don’t.  I’m not saying this is easy.  I’m hypersensitive and I feel everything very strongly, so this doesn’t come naturally to me at all.

Sometimes, I have these mysterious bouts where I struggle to do anything that I wish to do.  I aggravate myself.  I’ll pick up my hobbies and they make me angry instead of relaxed.  Or I’ll try to read a book and it makes no sense. I don’t know why this happens, but it does. When I feel like this, I try to take my focus away from myself, and look at others and do something kind. It restores some of my self-esteem and helps someone I care about.  It’s a win-win.

I can make choices that will affect how I feel.

When I’m feeling sad, I can choose to aggravate it by listening to depressive music or I can choose to help my little sister with something.

Now, I’m not suggesting shoving your feelings down and never dealing with them.  That is unhealthy in it’s own way.  What I’m saying is that you should be the one in control of your feelings, not the other way around.

Regulating your emotions is a life-skill.  It’s a struggle and a process that is built slowly from experience.  It takes practice to learn how to manage what you’re feeling.   Some days I struggle and can’t get my emotions under control.  Other days are dark and long.  Some days, it’s easier.  It’s all part of the process. This is life for me.  I have to roll with this without becoming angry, anxious or despairing.

 

I can choose to let the flames die…or to feed them.

The choice really is mine.

And it’s your choice too.

 

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Blessing in weakness…

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She felt the familiar tightening in her chest.

Her breaths came in uneven and difficult gasps.

Her blue eyes were fearful and frantic.  She looked around her as she tried to breathe slowly and evenly.  But the tightness did not subside.

She took a deep breath from her inhaler and attempted to quell the thoughts of death that were gathering rapidly- involuntarily, in her mind.  She grew more panicked. The inhaler seemed to have no effect on her breathing.

Realizing this, she quickly put the nebulizer pieces together and turned the machine on. The nebulizer droned sullenly, methodically.  Her mind raced.

She was filled with shame.  And guilt.

Her scattered thoughts were not at all comforting.  Why am I so weak?  Her thoughts violently rebelled against her struggles and her suffering.

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She was young, passionate, and full of aspirations, yet here she was, trapped in her own body.  All her desires and hopes had seemed to fade around her.

Almost instinctually, her thoughts drifted towards God. The thoughts were undeveloped, yet, she was turning to God.  She was praying, though no words were ever formed.

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She breathed slowly and deeply.  She felt a wave of peace through her.

She understood that her suffering would never completely dissipate, but she felt a sliver of hope.  She smiled, though somewhat sadly, realizing resignedly that this is who she is- weak and delicate, but not hopeless.

She knew God would provide, though sometimes she would not feel his presence intensely.

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Sometimes his voice would simply be a feeling of peace or hope, helping her in her time of need……..encouraging her to go on.

“Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God.  Then the peace of God, that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus”    -Philippians 4:6-7